When Regret Becomes Rape

When Regret Becomes Rape

Update ~ I have followed up this article with a new one, in which I describe my experience and side of the story. You can find this here.

In response to the articles accusing me of having committed any act of sexual assault towards my girlfriend (at the time); in regards to the question “did I rape her?”, the answer is absolutely not.

My partner and I were together for approximately 2 months before talk of intimacy came up. We talked openly about sex and sexuality in both an interpersonal and private way, as well as from a spiritual and energetic perspective.

I had asked if she wanted to have sex, and although she expressed hesitation at first, as our conversations progressed she did say “yes”. It was only then that we then proceeded. Our act of making love was just that; consensual and in the mindset of bringing our energies into sexual union. After this initial encounter, we were engaged in a healthy sexual relationship for many months.

After nearly a year, our relationship began to deteriorate. I decided it was time to end our connection while there was still some friendship.

I will officially state that at no point during our relationship did she express that she felt as though our sex life was comparable to rape. Had she ever expressed any level of discomfort, I would have immediately stopped all physical contact. All of these claims came out years after our relationship ended, which causes me to speculate that the way I ended our relationship fuelled the resentment she is harbouring towards me.

Taking the responsibility of creating these experiences opens the door to learning, growing, and healing from all this pain.

And so I pray we learn and we grow; I want to open a space of reconciliation and forgiveness so that we may take the actions that are in our highest alignment, and reverse the effects of what we’ve said or done when we were hurt, afraid, or experiencing regret.  

I can only hope that others find learning in my experience, as I continue to learn as well.

I would like to thank everyone who continually supports me, who have not jumped to conclusions, nor made rash accusations, and weigh each matter against the feather of truth.

With all of my love,
Jordan David Duchnycz


  • YK

    July 25, 2017 at 8:28 pm Reply

    I’m with ya, Jordan. I’ve been following this, and to me it doesn’t seem like rape. Sorry you got caught up in the depression and attention-seeking this girl is bringing down on you. She wanted you to acknowledge her feelings and to admit you took advantage of her in a weakened state, but did so consentingly, which I believe is the case. Hope everything pans out okay with this.

  • Worraph Y'inehtna

    July 26, 2017 at 12:44 am Reply

    It’s good to hear a well articulated version of events from yourself. I think the integrity of these allegations should most certainly be called into question. There are two victims of each other here and the community out there has done nothing but fuel a fire using reputation as kindling. Jordan and Tori are the root of this weed and they should find a resolve together, with a mediator if desired. There can be no further pursuit of the truth here unless what is intimately private is made public. That is something only for the accuser and accused to resolve. Anything else is just meaningless slander or heavy bias to either party involved.

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