Update ~ I have followed up this article with a new one, in which I describe my experience and side of the story. You can find this here.
In response to the articles accusing me of having committed any act of sexual assault towards my girlfriend (at the time); in regards to the question “did I rape her?”, the answer is absolutely not.
My partner and I were together for approximately 2 months before talk of intimacy came up. We talked openly about sex and sexuality in both an interpersonal and private way, as well as from a spiritual and energetic perspective.
I had asked if she wanted to have sex, and although she expressed hesitation at first, as our conversations progressed she did say “yes”. It was only then that we then proceeded. Our act of making love was just that; consensual and in the mindset of bringing our energies into sexual union. After this initial encounter, we were engaged in a healthy sexual relationship for many months.
After nearly a year, our relationship began to deteriorate. I decided it was time to end our connection while there was still some friendship.
I will officially state that at no point during our relationship did she express that she felt as though our sex life was comparable to rape. Had she ever expressed any level of discomfort, I would have immediately stopped all physical contact. All of these claims came out years after our relationship ended, which causes me to speculate that the way I ended our relationship fuelled the resentment she is harbouring towards me.
Taking the responsibility of creating these experiences opens the door to learning, growing, and healing from all this pain.
And so I pray we learn and we grow; I want to open a space of reconciliation and forgiveness so that we may take the actions that are in our highest alignment, and reverse the effects of what we’ve said or done when we were hurt, afraid, or experiencing regret.
I can only hope that others find learning in my experience, as I continue to learn as well.
I would like to thank everyone who continually supports me, who have not jumped to conclusions, nor made rash accusations, and weigh each matter against the feather of truth.
With all of my love,
Jordan David Duchnycz